I learned a lot of things just because of my previous post, a lot of mothers had reacted to it. I respect everyone's points of view and decisions and i am expecting the same way in return. I am a mother of a 3 year old boy and i must say that i am trying to be a good mother and trying to mold my son so he will become a good and fine person someday. I know that everybody has different ways of how they raise their child and they practice of what they think is the best for the child. I am one of the billions of mothers in the world who is aiming that my child will be a respectful human being, has good manners and behavior.
I know also that i have offended some of my readers here because of a certain word that they think is really a big no no to them. I understand them, that's how they brought up and that's what they are going to apply to their children. I have no questions about that and i don't doubt to their capability to raise their children because as what sayings say "Mothers knows best". I love my son and i don't abuse him, as what others said that there is a fine line between spanking and abusing. And i have been telling this over and over that i spank my son just enough for him to realize that i mean it and he should mind me as his mother.
I love to hear other mother's opinion because from that, i learn so many things. Just like what i told to Laane, that i am a very open minded person, but not perfect not to get offended. I am asking an apology to those who got offended here. I would like you all to know that i love my son so much and i am doing that i think what is best for my son for him to be a good man someday and of course i don't intent to harm him. And of course he is happy and just like other ordinary kids that wants to jump around and make some mess in the house. I only punish him when it is really needed to do so, but it is very rare to happen because he knows not to do such things that is not right.
Laane, my apology if you got offended to my way of disciplining my child but sometimes letting your child get hurt a little bit does work. I hope that you will be able to read this for you to understand my side and i don't want to offend my readers, my intention here is to update my son's progress as he grow up. So peace be with you and God bless!
I know also that i have offended some of my readers here because of a certain word that they think is really a big no no to them. I understand them, that's how they brought up and that's what they are going to apply to their children. I have no questions about that and i don't doubt to their capability to raise their children because as what sayings say "Mothers knows best". I love my son and i don't abuse him, as what others said that there is a fine line between spanking and abusing. And i have been telling this over and over that i spank my son just enough for him to realize that i mean it and he should mind me as his mother.
I love to hear other mother's opinion because from that, i learn so many things. Just like what i told to Laane, that i am a very open minded person, but not perfect not to get offended. I am asking an apology to those who got offended here. I would like you all to know that i love my son so much and i am doing that i think what is best for my son for him to be a good man someday and of course i don't intent to harm him. And of course he is happy and just like other ordinary kids that wants to jump around and make some mess in the house. I only punish him when it is really needed to do so, but it is very rare to happen because he knows not to do such things that is not right.
Laane, my apology if you got offended to my way of disciplining my child but sometimes letting your child get hurt a little bit does work. I hope that you will be able to read this for you to understand my side and i don't want to offend my readers, my intention here is to update my son's progress as he grow up. So peace be with you and God bless!
"Remember no one can make you feel inferior without your consent." —Eleanor Roosevelt—
14 comments:
hi,i dont think you should apologize. each of us discipline our kids in our own way.honestly,to hell with what that person thinks,if you know that you are not hurting your child and you feel like you are doing the right thing so be it. We are filipinas and in our culture spanking is not bad and is a big part of discipline. sorry i will speak bisaya ha, mao na ang mga bata diri kasagaran sa america wlay mga batasan kay lahi ilang pag disciplina sa ila mga anak. ako mo bunal ko sa ako anak nga gamay pa gani but dli pasakitan igo lng nku i tap iya kamot kay baby paman siya.when she grows up a bit then she will get spanked if she has done something to call for a spanking.
before this goes any further,you have nothing to apologize.
I have read her post before knowing that it's yours and left a comment there.. Yes, I agree.. Every mothers have their own way to educate or nurture their kids..
This is a sensitive issue and it's not appropriate & easy for people to interfere and intervene or point out to the mother that their way is wrong without offending the mother. UNLESS the situation got out of hand.. =)
I admit my mom used to spank me to.. but I still grow up alright and I still respect her.. Spanking is ok sometimes as long as you know your boundaries I think..
In my opinion, you don't have to apologize. People are so high-strung that they are quick to 'judge' others. It's their way or the highway. We are all trying to raise our child the way we know best. Everyone should mind their own business. I don't think you are abusing your child as what others would like to think. Just my opinion.
Hi Darlene, I missed the previous entry but I can still relay about this entry. I think, you don't need to apologize. Some people misinterpret the way we discipline our children. Maski mo ingon ka pag hinay ra nga morag gi bonalan rag a piece of paper but the word spank is a big impact for them. I know this is your blog and you have the right whatever you want to blog about but I think this kind of situation we have to be careful kay lainon pagsabot sa uban. Naa koy update about sa akong anak sauna, instead nga akong syang bunalan, ako naalng syang gi kulong sa bathroom og walay suga and it was only a seconds or maybe a minute. And you know what other said, ila daw kung isumbong kay akong gi kulong akong anak. Oh my Gosh, what in the world!
Anyway, my latest punishment for my 3 year old daughter is "time out". I let her sit on the corner until she ask for an apology. Try it to your son, it's effective. As much as possible kung ma control pa, I don't want to spank her because I'm afraid magtanum unyag hatred sa ako.
I read the previous comment. I do agree of what she said.
Thank you so much for all your warm and very comforting words. I truly appreciate you all for leaving such a wonderful comments here. I know that mostly other countries prohibit the spanking discipline to the children but sometimes letting your child get hurt a little bit works and letting him know that you really mean to stop him from the mistakes he is doing.
I think Laane misinterpreted all my words here, first, i don't abuse my son, and second i don't spank him every time he makes mistakes, i try to talk to him first so he will understand that what he did is not right. She is just over reacting about it, but still i need to ask an apology to her if she got offended. It is not because i am admitting that i am wrong of how i discipline my child, it is because for her to realize that Filipinos are humble, respectful and most of all the loving kind. I don't care if she is being so judgemental to me because she doesn't know me at all for her to judge me, she doesn't have any idea how my parents brought me up.
But anyway, if read this entry, at least i know now that a lot of people here in the world are judgemental, they jump into conclusions right away without knowing the personality of a person that they judged.
When I met MD in person few months ago, I find him sweet, loving, respectful and obedient little boy... and that's because of you Darl.. I believe you nurture him in a proper way. In fact I would do the same being firm yet loving to my kids.
I remember one time I spanked Bienne that made her very mabait since then. She knows now what the consequence if she'll do things that are not pleasing to me. Ug sos Darl ambot nalang unsaon nako pagpa maldita sa iyaha karon nga perteng buutan naman oi, nasobrahan tingali nakog bunal ato, hehe!That was the first and the last spank nako niya, ambot kanus-a ang ikaduha, sobra tuig nakog cge hulat, hehe!
i am with you on that 100% mamu. Laane doesn't understand the way we discipline our kids because she is from the other side of the world.
she doesn't know that we filipinos/filipinas are very firm or determined on straightening the "young tree while its branch is still soft" alangan lagi imong tul-iron na ang maral nga punoan nga kagahi na ana intawn..
ah basta pasagad nalang kog yama yama dri adto naku oi
Uy, I had read your last entry Darl's but was trying to leave comment about it but I failed to do so. So, my opinion is, spanking is ok as long as its not too muck and it is in the right place(bottom) for instance. I spank my children and it doesn't mean I don't love them. Same as you, I want them to learn their mistake and remember not to do it again. My husband doesn't approved it all but he also knows how much I love my kids and wouldn't get to the pouint of hurting them so bad or spank them in an abusive way.
I must say, nagdako pud ko binunalan, binugha, guod, ug uban pang masakit na pangbunal, bakos ug bayabas pati sambang as in sakit kaau but in return I never in slightest hate my parents for doint it instead I appreciate them for they raised me to be a fine woman.
I respect them and love them more than words can say.
Kabalo ka mga puti dili jud na sila approved anang spanking pero hey tan-awa laha mga anak grabe maka swear sa ilaha walay respeto.
I'm sorry you had such a bad reaction to your decision to spank your child. To me, spanking is fine so long as you're doing it out of love, not frustration, not just to hit. Bottom line: you are the mommy, you know your child best, you do your best to raise him the way you feel is best and from what I am learning, the Filipino way is a good common sense way. So far it seems you're doing a great job. Don't let these holier than thou people who do not matter in your life upset you because of how you choose to raise your children.
Don't let this people judging you like your a bad mother. They don't know what they're talking about. Every parent has different discipline in every family. My son got spank from his dad because he did something very bad cause time out doesn't work for him before when he was 5 years old. But I think only happened twice or three times. I did once, After we spank we explain why he got spanking from us. We stop the spanking because he doesn't like it. Anyway he got only spanking 3 times that's all.
He says sorry and we also says sorry. and we all hugs each other and we say I love you. My son is very active and it's hard to control him. I set to the point where he got time out. One in the corner of the bathroom facing to the wall in upstairs and downstairs his time out is facing to the sink. He doesn't like to have time out. We give him time out only when he is talking back so much and no respect to us and talking like an adult even until now and we keep explaining to him why he got time out. Our discipline also is
no tv
no playstation
no wii
no computer
nothing for whole week.
take care dinha Darl and your baby boy.
hi darls, how r u na? hope u feel better! thanks for sharing your feelings with me, I really felt like you trusted me and as a friend, I'm always ready to listen and just so u know, I may not always agree with you but I am here for you no matter what. I believe a true friend should always be honest and hope you recognize that honesty as my real friendship to you.
I apologize that i haven't been checking up on what's goin' on with ur life here at ur blogs. You know the reason and i'm sure u understand. As to what's happening in your life right now, just know this is just one of your trials in life. God wouldn't give you anything that you cannot handle. With you apologizing, it makes my heart grow coz it shows how humane you are and accepting to any mistakes. If people apologize, it doesn't mean they are weak, it's the other way around, you are a strong person darls and it shows, it shows kindness and humility and you just proved who you are as a person. We can make mistakes and everybody knows that and to embrace and accept our mistakes and learn from it helps us grow and shows how humble you are as a person.
No1 has the right to judge us and I pray that those people who condemn you as a bad mother will start reflecting on their deeds coz Lord knows they make mistakes too! And I'm pretty sure they are capable of understanding too and seeing the best in a person and hopefully that will occur to them soon! I know how much you love your son and he knows it too! From the old photos u showed and even the new ones, it shows darls and u don't have to prove it to the world! I've heard stories of moms who mistreated their kids, abused them, gave them away and neglected them and you don't belong to that category, not even close! God knows how good as a mother you are and still learning to be a better one! Take care always and just buzz anytime my friend!!!
We can agree to disagree and that is just fine. We are all responsible to bring up our children the best we can. I did not mean to imply you were abusing your child or that you do not love him. I apologize if that's how it sounded. I was merely stating my opinion and may have been a little harsh and defensive as I was slightly offended by the comment about "all american kids being crazy and doing whatever they want."
I respect you as a mother and know that you only have your sons best interest in mind.
For my children,it's not an option.
Hello Mommyto2,
I didn't say all American kids, i said most American kids and i am not being a judgemental person, i am basing the facts and to what i see. I see a lot of kids especially teenagers that they yell at their mom so easy and swear words like it's nothing. And if your kids are good then be it! You don't have to feel bad about it, and i am sure you are doing your best as you can to be a good mother to them. Like i said, i respect all the mothers in the whole world except to those who doesn't respect other mothers in return. We should not be judgemental to other mothers because we do our best that we can to raise our child in a proper way for them to become a good and respectful person someday.
I am so glad you came by again, thanks for the time! God bless!
Why apologize? Every mother has their own way on how to discipline their kids. Not everybody are perfect Darl.
Ning mga puti sab og makaistorya murag mga unsa i'm sure inig katigulang nila sa home for the aged ra ilang kapaiingnan kay ilang mga anak kulang og respeto sa ila :)
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